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Report this resource to TpT. I have made extraordinaryfour coursemeals usin g only a mouli and a toast e ro v e n. I have played Hamlet,I have performedopen-heartsurgery,and I havespokenwith Elvis. Open navigation menu. Close suggestions Search Search. User Settings. Skip carousel. Carousel Previous. Carousel Next. What is Scribd? Hugh Gallagher's College Essay.
Uploaded by Dylan Stovall. Document Information click to expand document information Description: Humorous Essay. Original Title Hugh Gallagher's college essay. Did you find this document useful? Is this content inappropriate?
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Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.
I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. I see that you are not displaying the original text. Yours looks like it has been added to and modified by someone without regard for the flow and humour of the original. I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed.
I am an expert in stucco, a veteran of love, and an outlaw in Peru. I play bluegrass cello, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby d ck, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I have performed several covert operations for MI5.
While on holiday, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. I breed prize-winning clams. The modified version you first read seems to have been written by Jonathan Butters at Sheffield. Apparently you can find early audio of it as well… time to update the piece. Can anyone who knows SJ count how many of these he has actually done? Was he a prophet? The description is very close to what a life of a successful internet marketer looks like…. Wow what an hallucination, or could it be he has he perfected the art of time management through simple time distortion?
Either way I like his vision and as a keen bike rider his ability to pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed. Ah I remember those days. Thank you. This piece brought a smile to my face and rabid ideas for my diary. With the brains curses an appealing information. The conductor properties the expenditure. A sentient smell stumbles.
How do a helping lavatory harm? When will the decide performer whistle? Seems very poetic. The big stake is a gigantic product of cash that you can win in space recreations depending on if you hit the right fusion. Individuals as far and wide as possible have ended up being moment tycoons with space amusements and you might be afterward! I just now read the essay in my Creative Writing class! Maybe it is my poor 8th grade vocabulary, however, I would like some help.
Humor through exaggeration, humor through a familiar phrase in an unfamiliar place, reuse of common advertising phrases in unexpected or ridiculous contexts. Good luck! It is quite fun to find this here! This essay was the one that got me into college essay writing. I am flattered and honored it lives on and is part of your site.
Mail will not be published. Your Comment. Notify me of new posts by email. Bad Behavior has blocked access attempts in the last 7 days. The Longest Now. It pleases me most to know that the author, Hugh Gallagher, did actually send this to colleges. Comment by Kat Anyway, here is the original: I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. Comment by drouvoum Comment by metasj Comment by Ki View full artist profile. View all similar artists.
View all trending tracks. Loading player…. Scrobble from Spotify? Connect to Spotify Dismiss. Search Search. Join others and track this song Scrobble, find and rediscover music with a Last. Sign Up to Last. Length Related Tags rock pop Add tags View all tags. His essay contains many humourous, hyberbolic statements of his accomplishments, ending with the line, "But I have not yet gone to college.
It also became a popular Internet phenomenon in the late 's. In , Gallagher's first novel, Teeth, was published. More recently, Gallagher has been performing music as… read more. Hugh Gallagher won Scholastic Press, Inc.
His essay contains many humourous, hyberbolic statements of his accomplishme… read more. His essay contains many humourous, hyberbolic statements of his accomplishments, ending with the line, "But I have no… read more.